Smoke and Mirrors
by BleedingBerryBlossoms
Summary: Some things cannot be forgiven. Some things cannot be believed. In a time of weakness-in a time unknown, there was an opening to manipulate the fresh wound of a mislead commander.


Parted lips inhale the castaway smoke like they had once before. Silence as another puff was taken, silence as a gesture was made. Hesitantly followed, the bitter smell of old leather and gunpowder felt like a home made foreign.

Had it really always been this way?

Of course.

Rough lips, course touch. Aggressive undertones that had only grown stronger over the years. Yet it was his consistent weakness. He would always turn his back, the smoke dancing around him in the autumn air. The early morning sunrise would outline him in a gentle yellow. He forever stayed in his shadow.

"There isn't much to say."  
"Has there ever been?"  
"You sure have had a lot to say."  
"This will never work."  
"Stop expecting things to be fixed."

 _"...What?"_

"We are only moving forwards. The past is gone."  
"Because you're so willing to leave it there."  
"You'll never let it go."  
"Better that than forgive our sins."  
"They only make us stronger."  
"No, they make you stronger."

In that moment the sunlight seemed to change to red. His fingertips were laced with the last hopes of the dead and his smile was stained with far too many lies.

Yet there he stood in the shadows still.

"Pathetic."

Spoken softly with a laugh that chilled the darkness far more than any man could.

"You're a monster."  
"And you aren't?"

He would turn to flick cooling ash on him-the way he once had on a cold autumn night. A fireside experience that had died out before daylight.

"I'm trying."He would speak with a tremor. "I'm trying to raise a light in the world."

"It won't last, you're far too attached. Always have been."  
"People died Snake!"  
"You knew what you were signing up for."  
"Deception wasn't on the list!"

 _Silence._

More ash, a hot ember that burned his flesh lightly. A soft pain he'd come in contact with several times before. A nostalgic pain that seared his heart more than his body.

"What did you expect?"  
"A little more heart maybe!?"  
"How does one communicate with a monster if they're not on the same page?"  
"...what?"  
"How can you stomach this if it bothers you so much?"  
"I just..-"  
"Exactly."

He nearly cooed to him, breaking him down slowly. A single gaze sized him up. A single move forwards tested his ground. A rough grasp, a solid gasp. A cocky smirk that destroyed him.

"You've lost your touch."

They shared a gaze in a caged situation.

 _Silence._

His gaze said it all. He saw the fires of hell dancing within his eye. Yet it was all too familiar. For he also saw himself. A grin of satisfaction taunted him further.

"You feel it too, don't you?"  
"I see it in your eyes. Revenge still lingers within you. Hatred still owns you."  
"You're far worse than I am. I'm moving on."  
"Yet you sit still."

Silence once more, a struggle to find the right words. A thumb pressed into his neck further, an aggressive yet affectionate gesture from such a savage, prideful man.

"You still hold onto all this, don't you? Would you care so much if you didn't carrying these feelings still?"  
"There is far more to my world than you, Snake."  
"You have to lie a bit better."  
"You will never understand..."  
"Understand what? Your shattered illusion? Your mindless following? Were you following your heart or mine?"

Moving in roughly he used the force to bring Kaz closer, a heavy exhale was pushed out against his features. Ash was flicked onto his shaking shoulders.

"Dog." He snarled, a smile still managing to curl along his lips.  
"Don't."

Kaz warned softly, hesitance owning him as he turned his head to the side. Fingers curled in his hair. A gasp tainted the air.

"My **_dog_**." He cooed softly through a puff of smoke.  
"...Don't."

Rough features moved in to press against his neck. Chapped lips brushed against the exposed skin lightly.

 _"Don't..don't.."_

A soft cry, a plea for peaceful release.

"Shh.." A command he couldn't help but oblige. Tear stained skin soon stained his lips with bitter regrets and unwanted sorrows. He didn't want the memories Kaz had. He just wanted this moment. He wanted to remember the youthful blonde that smiled at him from across the base on a late evening in the middle of spring. He wanted to remember how sweet he was on his lips when he drank his favorite liquor. He wanted to remember the way his eyes sparkled under the moonlight when he swept him off his feet. Kaz was important, but not important enough to keep. When he broke from his chains he didn't drag him back. He never bothered with bringing him close. He'd dried his tears far too often. His smiles and sighs kept him alive. Without him the world was dull but not intolerable. Nothing a pill and a good smoke couldn't fix. Maybe a drink or two on those bright afternoons where he could almost hear his laugh.

There was no regret, only memories.

Yet as he moved with the man he could recall the ways he would embrace. The ways he would push him. The ways he would stumble out of his office after a long night. He remembered bitter betrayal and the taste of regret on his tongue.

 _His skin had never tasted sweeter than when he had mourned over him._

This was all for him. Kaz was there for him. There was no need to focus on what he would do later on. He wouldn't be around for it.

"I can't..."  
"You can."

Commanding, dominating in a way the blonde couldn't refuse. He knew well enough Kaz needed guidance.

 ** _"You will."_**

Another statement to further relax what had been a minor struggle. His gasps were sweet, he could taste them on his tongue with such an intensity. Yet the fire within Kaz was not fully extinguished. A single hand rested on the man's chest. A firm push resulted in a firmer hold.

"I don't..."

A kiss to cut him off, a prolonged embrace to keep him quiet. Another push, another ignored action. He had never denied him like this. There had been cold nights on base where he just couldn't get him to calm down. There had been times he hadn't shown much mercy. Yet not a time like this had struck him. Never had the blonde forced himself out of the love struck state he usually possessed around him. But he was relaxing. It didn't matter what he felt right now anyways. He wouldn't have to deal with it later. He was his dog, a prize in very few ways. No one would be impressed. No one would believe Big Boss had come to find him just for this reason.

 _ **"Boss.."**_

Finally.

He'd gotten through him enough. Joy pinged within him as he moved back in to steal another kiss from the male. This time his other hand pressed against Kaz's chest. With a gentle gesture he pushed him back. They were damn near isolated at this point in time. The water below crashed against the shore with a fury of its own.

 **Yet not even the strength of the tide could match the strength of Big Boss.**


End file.
